You know how people start to look like their pets?
Have these two been going to the same hairdresser?
I got a very informative email today from someone I didn’t even know. Must be one of those good samaritan types. Anyway, it told me all about creams to increase the size of my member. Unfortunately, I misread it at first and thought it helped you to ‘remember’. Rubbed some behind my ears and now I look like Mickey Mouse. Can hear a pin drop in Swindon. For all the good it’s done, I should have shoved it down my pants.
I have become the father of a teenager! Wooster, please bring me my zimmer-frame. And give the old cholostomy a bit of a rinse, willya?
Gordon Brown had a drawing of the Loch Ness monster in a bikini.
Tony Blair had an extra mirror.
John Major. Who?
Baroness Thatcher had cave paintings of Genghis Khan.
Institutes a ‘hosepipe ban’ whereby any Doris caught watering their daffies loses a finger. If Brian is washing the car, it could be a testicle.
Result: it hasn’t stopped raining, pouring, sleeting, drizzling, teeming, showering ever since. Domestic pets falling from the sky.
Maybe we need to patch in the Middle-East about this lark. If they banned hand-watering, Saudi might look like the Amazon. And not just that website where you buy books.
Anyway, I am off to order 1800 cubitts of cedar. All you ‘creeping things’ line up in pairs, please.
it has done nothing put p1ss with rain and hail. God knows what would happen if I opened the lid on the barbecue. Probably a blizzard.
