Shit I Learned - things you pick up on the way

Institutes a ‘hosepipe ban’ whereby any Doris caught watering their daffies loses a finger. If Brian is washing the car, it could be a testicle.

Result: it hasn’t stopped raining, pouring, sleeting, drizzling, teeming, showering ever since. Domestic pets falling from the sky.

Maybe we need to patch in the Middle-East about this lark. If they banned hand-watering, Saudi might look like the Amazon. And not just that website where you buy books.

Anyway, I am off to order 1800 cubitts of cedar. All you ‘creeping things’ line up in pairs, please.

it has done nothing put p1ss with rain and hail. God knows what would happen if I opened the lid on the barbecue. Probably a blizzard.